The Shell Has Been Broken

So I haven't mentioned it on here yet, but back in July I had the opportunity to change my relationship status on Stalkbook from "Single" to "In a Relationship" (the only reason I didn't was because I couldn't be bothered and my new girlfriend didn't want to straight away). Anyways, it's been am interesting few months. We hit the 3 month mark just over a week ago. Before meeting my GF, I was a very closed person. I kept a lot to myself. It was my way of dealing with problems. Bottling them up. I know people say that it isnt healthy, but I think when they say that, they're referring to how too many small issues build up and take over the way you think, leaving you depressed, or an alco, or both. I don't have that problem. I dealt with it quite easily. Well practised you might say.

But today I discovered something that a side effect from it that is unhealthy. I don't show my emotions a lot. The important stuff. I keep how I'm feeling hidden from most people (I don't do angry for instance - I think it's an ugly look). But that extends to other emtions too. Sure, I don't have a monotonous face like Kristen Stewart (that chick from Twighlight). I show when I'm happy, or frustrated, or have just stubbed my toe on the pavement freely. Its the big stuff that doesn't come through. This wasn't a problem until recently.

Since I've been dating my GF, we've had the struggle of dealing with my working away lifestyle, which whilst difficult isn't too much of a problem. But when it came to me showing or telling my GF how I felt about us and where we were going, I'm much more of a closed book. She on one hand is very open about it. Always questions what I mean when I say something that she doesn't understand or interprets differently. Me on the other hand have always been more of a "go with the flow" kinda guy. Good for holidays and work, but not so good when trying to build a relationship that will stand the test of time. Today it came to a header. After a long discussion last night failed to get across what we wanted from each other, this morning it all came out. Those 3 words that mean so much. I'd not wanted to say it too soon, and was questioning whether thats what I had been feeling. But it wasn't until all the pressure to show something emotional became too much to bear, that it all came out. I knew what I wanted, but hadn't admitted it to myself. But I tell you what...It felt good! To get it all out in the open. To be able to say it.

I Love You

And I meant it too. As did she. Hopefully now it'll get easier. Having had my emotional shell broken open and exposed raw, there should be less trouble determining what we want for our future. Yes, it's a lot to happen in 3 months of dating I know, but lets just say that there are a few details about myself and my GF that you don't know, and won't know, that mean I can take comfort in where we're at as a couple. Our future looks bright, far brighter than it did this time yesterday. I'm sure that we'll hit more snags yet, as all couples do, but for now, we're both happy and content that we have each others best itnerests at heart and look forward to a great future together.

It just goes to show, that sometimes being a closed book or a bottler, can be unhealthy in many different ways. I wasn't at risk of depression or becoming a drug addled zombie from the normal daily pressures of life, but when it comes to relationships, it's always better to be open that closed. Because if your partner can't tell what your thinking or how your feeling, they begin to question things. And that leads to other things, which lets face it, becomes a big can of worms that just gets worse and worse. Be open people. Show your emotions to those that you Love and let them share your burdens and pains, as well as the joys in your life. Ultimately, everyone will benefit from it.

That Useless Feeling...

I'm sure you would have had this feeling at some point in time throughout your life, just as I have had. It could be anything. From not being able to help someone who is injured or ill, to having a chance to help but not knowing how to.Or in my case, knowing deep down that something should be done differently, but having no chance at influencing the outcome. At the moment, I mainly get this feeling when the national news is on. It's quite easy to predict what the top story will be each night. The first sentence will generally contain the names "Julia" or "Tony" or the words "Malaysia", "Nauru", "Boats", "Failed" or "Assylum Seekers". Yes, I'm referring to the seemingly unending debate about where to send Assylum Seekers that arrive in Australia illegally between the Liberal and Labor parties. 

I'll (try) keep my thoughts short here, because I know how annoyed people are that this topic is still in our headlines constantly (or even at all!). I personally think that the current debate is the wrong. Both economically and morally. I'm a firm believer that the people fleeing here by boat (in my view, not an illegal method as they typically have very few genuine options to actually seek asylum - just extremely dangerous) should be given every oportunity to settle here should they prove to be in genuine need of our help. 

And that last bit is what gets me most. Our Help. We are more than just the lucky country. We are one of the safest, most ecenomically sound and beautiful countries on this troubled planet. We have the ability to help people who are less fortunate than ourselves. I reckon we should process boat people here, in Australia. Yes, my way most likely won't stop the boats. Which I'm fine with. These people are coming from countries where they're more willing to gamble with their life on the open seas in little more than old, leaky fishing boats as opposed to horrors and dangers of their own country. Anyone willing to take that gamble should be given the opportunity to be processed humanely and efficeintly (not over a 10-20 year period like in Malaysia) with the ultimate prize being resettlement here. 

Many citizens today are prime examples of what can come from people seeking our help and being given a fair go. They're more likely to embrace our culture than normal immigrants because they've worked so hard to get here, and continue to work hard once here (moreso than a lot of people on the dole!). And it's not like we can't afford to help them in this situation. We might not be able to fix the problems in their country, but we can offer hope and a home to those willing to seek out help. 

Also, I'm a lot more confident in our processing measures than those in other countries where bribing is far more common. I feel it is a more secure method of determining that the people who are given the final green light to stay, have Australia, and it's peoples best intentions at heart and will make their best efforts to fit in with our community. 

I know it's an overused (and cliched) phrase, but just think about it for a minute, how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot.....

Motivation Lacks

So I think I can safely say, I failed. Motivation just doesn't stick around long enough for me to keep up an exercise regime. I got a bit sick at one point so stopped and then Easter rolled around and it would be sacrilegious to chocolate lovers everywhere to exercise too much through the holidays. Anyways, I did weigh myself yesterday and I haven't lost weight but haven't gained it either so still pretty happy with myself.

On a different note, I'll be starting a seperate blog soon for the progress of the house build I've embarked on.

Ciao

Fitness Update!

Quick update on the attempts to get fit! The day after my last entry, I was chatting with the folks in the office and another 1 or 2 of them have joined in and now I'm doing Dips and Squats on the alternate days. Not doing too bad so far, albiet I'm only up to Day 2 so far!

Laterz

Time to get Fit ... Again!

So it turns out I'm not as disiplined as I'd thought. I got to Day 2 of the push up challenge, and 2 weeks later I was still at Day 2. However, back at work and someone (or a few people actually) asked how I was going with my pushups (See above for the answer). And one of our admin girls said she'd join in and do it at the same time. That night we did the Inital Test again, both coming up with 10 Push-Ups each.

So it's set. Doing the 2nd level starting at the same time, hopefully we'll spur each other on to keep up with the regime, and she's taken it a step further and said she'll do the Sit-Ups and Squats. Not to be out done, so will I. So today I've started up again at Day 1, albiet on the 2nd level this time so hopefully I'll push myself a bit harder this time. Really want to get through it. Mainly to get fit, but also, can't be seen getting out-done by a girl can I! Not that that worries me too much to be honest. Plenty of things to blame my inability to continue with the program (damn fortnightly roster) but alas, there is determination there now that I think I lacked before.

Also, I've always thought that it was easier to do exersice with other people, as a social event. Always found it boring doing it by myself. Hopefully I'll prove myself right.

Time to get Fit!

So 2 days ago I decided to start an exercise regime. You might have heard of it. It's called the One-hundred Pushups Challenge. 

Instead of just sitting in my Donga at night after work, thinking about getting fit, I've decided to do something about it. I don't have the motivation to go to the company provided gym (laptop & TV is far more interesting), and I remembered a mate mentioning this quite a while ago. I'm skeptical as to how well it works, but will hold judgement until either 1 of 2 things happens.

1 - I finish it and succeed (or fail - that too will influence my skepticism), or;

2 - I get bored/distracted/can't be bothered and don't finish it, in which case I'll have to give it the benefit of the doubt. 

Anyway, I hope it's the first half of option 1 that turns out to be the ultimate outcome. I've linked my Facebook account with the special "Logger" page so I can embarrass myself publicly over there and hopefully spur myself on to be able to stop (or reduce) the embarrassment! 

Wish me Luck!

A Builders Rant

A rant from someone complaining about their builder taking 26 weeks to finish kitchen cupboards in their new home;

After builder promises cabinets in 5 weeks ( prior to easter ) and no cabinets after 12 weeks, they offer a free upgrade to granite benchtop in Kitchen so now the granite must come from the longest reaches of tibet and only mined by virgins and carried by squirell down the ande's in silk bags from the mystic regions of the Amazon , then ground down by epilectic amazon valkyries in an insane asylym in guatalumpor, then refined in Chernoble to withstand temperatures equal to that on surface of Mercury. The combined result is then glued together by some 14 year old halfwit and put together in the carpark at the Vic Park shopping centre. Then builder chain hoists our house including the slab and footings , slab is laser cut from below to fit the exact match of the bench and the team that handles the crown jewels are flown over from the Louve to fit the house back in place with our sparkling kitchen cabinets and granite benchtops.

You can pay per view to see this spectacle sometime in 2012 at , Gonecompletelyinsanecosbuilderisrubbish.com.

Gold! Just gold. 

To go Nuclear or not? I don't think so...

So I'll start by saying it outright. I DON"T approve of using nuclear technology anywhere for power generation (and even less for use as weapons), but I definitely don't think it is necessary for Australia to build any nuclear reactors to provide for future power requirements. 

Now that that is out of the way, back to it. There are people out there (in Oz) that support the idea of nuclear power in Australia. I was initially against, and then I thought about it objectively, looking over the fence you could say (re: grass is greener...?) but have come back to a firm belief that there are many better options for power generation than nuclear reactors. 

Whilst Australia is one of the more stable continents on the crust of this fair planet, whilst rare, earthquake's and tsunami's aren't unheard of here. However there are many other reasons available for a potential plant here to go horribly wrong. Depending on where it were to be built, there's the possibility of cyclones, flash flooding and bush fires (easier to defend against than earthquakes I do admit) amongst other potential natural disasters out there. However, I think the bigger concern to me is the (relatively) new prospect of terrorism. We haven't had any attacks on our home soil yet comparable to what has been seen in NYC, London, Spain, etc etc (thankfully) but with the attacks in Indonesia happening every now and again, it can be considered a possible case of not If, but When an attack will happen Down Under. And it's here that I feel a Nuclear Reactor would make a very nice target for someone wanting to make maximum impact on a very spread out country like our own. Not only would the fallout alone and immediate casualties be bad enough, but the prospect of a major source of power being fatally removed from the system would prove to be quite problematic too. 

As for the environmental arguments for and against nukes, I'm of the opinion that we stick with the devil we know (coal and gas) until we can provide a truly renewable and clean source. Should something unexpected happen, and radiation was released in an uncontrolled manner into the atmosphere, that alone is not an exciting legacy to leave behind. It's not like we're short of renewable energy options in Australia, from our massive expanse of sun laden deserts, to one of the longest coastlines of any country globally spanning 3 oceans for wind or wave potential, or even the geothermal options. Like I said, it's a BIG country! The biggest problem, is investment. We are in one of the biggest booms this country is likely to see for a while, but it is questionable about some of the things that we're investing in. Personally, I think more needs to be put into clean technology R&D. In perspective, if the same amount of money (and we're talking collosal amounts here) had been put into electric cars instead of petrol/diesel cars over the last 20 years, imagine how much more advanced they'd be today.

The same goes for renewable energy. The amount of money pumped into nuclear/coal/gas generator development over the past few decades, if that was matched in renewable technology development, I seriously doubt we would need to look at hazardous nuclear (or fossil fuel tech for that matter) for electricity generation again. The possibilities are endless. Cheap, near endless power for national grids would mean a significant cut in global pollution, as well as the ability to power larger electric public transport networks as well as large numbers of power hungry devices such as (but not limited to) electric cars. We've got to take into consideration the amount of power consumed in the average house is a lot higher today than it ever used to be. With multiple cars, TV's & PC's per family in Australia being among some of the highest in the world per capita, our thirst for power is only going to go up as our homes come to house more and more devices, all requiring that mystical force - electricity. 

All I can hope for is a future where our politicians recognise the need for future proofing our nation from the constraints of fossil fuel, and doing it in a manner that won't put future generations at risk of something like what Japan is experiencing now (not to mention responsibly, aka. not just to win the next election, but properly).

The Highs and Highers of Travelling

Well I'm back. And after reading a mates blog for the first time, decided to resurrect this blog which I had "Deleted" (thankyou Google for the "Undelete" button!). Anyways, I'm sitting in my room at work after arriving home from my 10 nights in Thailand, and what a couple of weeks it's been!

8 flights in 14 days has seen me fly from work in the Pilbra to Perth, to Singapore, to Phuket and finally to Ko Phanang and then backwards again. And from all of that what have I concluded? That the charter craft used by Cobham Aviation is a lot more comfortable than Jetstar or Bangkok airways, leaving them squarely still in the crap basket for tall people!

As for the trip itself? Well what a corker. The lowest point for me would probably be the 3/4 of a day in bed after the Full Moon Party with suspected food poisoning which could've been contracted from numerous sources, each as likely as the other. Be it the pool water mixed in with the buckets of Vodka and Redbull or Singapore Slings, or the kebab I foolishly washed in tap water after dropping it whilst drunk (key word being drunk - not a normal act) or the dinner from the night before that was still far too spicey for my liking. As for the high's? Well where to start.

The foam parties at the Drop In Resort & Spa were pretty cool, the first day but lost their cool factor after day 3 when the playlist became memorised and we started to realise just how potent the water really was. To give you an idea of that, I recently had surgery on my ankle and the freshly healed scar started weeping whilst in the pool one afternoon. That in itself wasn't so worrying as annoying because it had taken a bit of a beating, but the scar on my chest which is a good 2 or 3 years old now also started weeping and this was a little more concerning. A good does of some antiseptic creams and they started clearing up (thankfully).

Then theres the Full Moon Party, the basis around which our trip was organised and the most looked forward to part of the whole holiday. This too also became a small let down for me. With Dan sick as a dog in bed and me not feeling too crash hot to start with, it became more of a spectacle to watch as the thousands of drunks around danced, drank, skipped (well attempted to) in a skipping rope of fire and partied in a fasion unseen back home. I think I'll go into this a bit more in a seperate post but for here, it just turned out to be less enjoyable than planned.

Phuket, now there is where the fun really started. There's the first night where just the boys went out to Bangla street (aka. party central) and got on the piss, loudly discussing (or more making fun of) whether the bird I was flirting with was actually a female or not, before me dragging them into a neighbouring AGoGo show with the allure of Free Entry. Soon found out why it was free. One round of beer on me (normally cheap beer too @ 60-80 Thai Baht) ended up costing me 4800 Baht for 6 people (@ 800 B each). Now I'm sure I've lost you here with the alien pricing so here's a conversion. AU$1 ~ B30 so B800 ~ AU$26.60 making 6 beers about $160!!!! Needless to say that we made them last longer than normal. At least that was made a little easier with the entertainment. First dragged on stage with the strippers was myself and another tourist who was probably a little more embarresed than myself (I was too busy laughing). As for what happened? I got off easy, only having to eat apple off a naked woman in different positions. Dan on the other hand wasn't so lucky. I won't detail it too much, but imagine him lying on stage with nothing but a bath towel and a blind fold and 3 naked woman rubbing bath oil all over him - without hands!

I'm gonna leave that night there as it is now essentially over, with the rest being for personal laughs later on.

Another highlight included canooing through the mangroves and islands near James Bond Island, to hiring a Speedboat to take the 8 of us out for the day around Raya Island to do some snorkelling and just relax in general on beautifal tropical beaches. Or there's the FantaSea theatrical show which was nothing short of spectacular. Amazing, colourful, huge. All words that come to mind.

Theres also the other night out on the town, starting at a Ping Pong show which was full of laughs with people constantly being dragged onto stage to assist with the show which is both disturbing and curiously amazing at the same time. Something you must see at least once whilst in Phuket.

But after all of this (if your still reading that is) I think the most exciting part was meeting all the different people also on holiday. Whilst Aussies are the dominant tourist in Phuket, there is still a large number of people from many interesting places, a few of which I would not have picked as being the larger tourist groups. In Ko Phanang, the other large group were Israeli's, one of which quit her job to go on holiday. Then in Phuket there were Russians. Facebookthats what I enjoy most about travelling, the people. A place may be beautifal, but without the people, it is just another place. Whether they're local or tourists like myself, they all still have stories that add character and a feeling of being a little more connected to a place that photo's in front of a red phone box or large rock on a postcard just can't give.

Fate or Boredom?

2011 - What a year it has been, and we've only just got to the end of January! Queensland has been hit by some of the worst floods in history and is currently under seige from not 1, but 2 more Tropical Cyclones. A good portion of Victoria is also underwater, many of those places having not seen much of the stuff for the best part of the new millenium. Fires in WA have made their mark on the state already and the SW has just won a game of Russian Roulette with TC Bianca which turned out to be the 2nd biggest fizzer so far this year (the 1st possibly being the PM's new Flood Levy to rebuild QLD but that's all still up in the air).

For myself personally though, New Years Eve was a good night (minus 1 person going missing for a few hours after midnight - forever on now called "doing a Cameron") with the general "plans" for the year being pretty vague but simple. Try and save some cash, get at least one good holiday in later in the year, behave myself so my ankle heals up in time for the trip to Thailand (been booked since last May!) and generally just try figure out what to do in 2012. Planning anything more than that is generally wasted time as it never seems to work out, as you'll see.

Those plans above, whilst they haven't really changed as such (except possibly the 2nd holiday part) they have taken on a whole new meaning - especially the save money part. Previously just a claim to reduce my excessive spending habits on my cars and maybe start saving for a deposit for a place of my own. Now however, it's to be able to buy furniture and start paying a mortgage! There are 2 ways of looking at it and really it would come down to whether or not you believe in FATE or COINCIDENCE.

It started back in November last year (2010) when, instead of playing our normal game of beach volleyball after work one night, someone suggested we try out indoor cricket. Whilst I'm not that keen on playing the sport (or genearlly watching it for that matter) I thought "what the hell, might as well give it a shot" know full well I was gonna make a fool of myself in the process. 5 minutes into trying to bowl, one of the guys said I could have his shot at batting. "Cheers, I should be a little better at that" was the response, but 3 bowls in and I was soon proven wrong. A simple back step on the left foot to avoid a body hit and then moving incorrectly on the right resulted in a cracking sound that was heard at the other end of the pitch and me falling like a sack of spuds on the ground. The worst part wasn't the pain or even hearing it crack, but just seeing the foot poking sideways for that split second made the gut churn. After a good nights sleep (some good stuff that Panadine Forte!), they put me on the plane and flew me to Perth the next morning. The folks picked me up and drove me back to Bunno (or Bunbury for those from afar) where after 3 days in hospital, I was sporting a nice new titanium plate and scar to match.
     Skip ahead 6 weeks to when I'm walking again (thankfully it was a quick healing process - sitting down to have a shower really sucked!), and I'm sure you can imagine I might be getting a little bored by now. So on my way home one tuesday arvo and I decided to go walking through some of the display homes at the neighbouring suburb or Dalyellup to kill some time - window shopping some would say. Well I got talking to the fella in the 2nd house and went over my basic finances, and it jsut so happened these guys specialise in doing deals for people like me. Relatively good income but nothing actually saved up. After going over the details with the folks, we met the guy that Friday morning and by the time I was flying out of Perth back to work that arvo (1st shift back since the cricket incident) I'd signed the contract to a House and Land Package. Spur of the moment? Possibly (I like it that way), but ill-informed? I don't believe so. I've been researching the property market for a while, interested in buying a place and the folks have their own experience to draw on so hopefully it will be a good move for my future.
     As for Fate or Coincidence, some at work thought it was because of the cricket game, then that I took someone else's shot at batting, etc and so forth that led me to being in the situation that ended up with me owning my own patch of dirt. Whereas, there is always the chance that I would have just gone straight home to the TV. Or maybe I could've gone through there one day anyway to the same end. But had it been at another time, I might have been with mates, distracted or on a time limit, or maybe the sales person would be busy with another interested party, all resulting with the the higher probability that I wouldn't have sat down for the crucial chat that started the ball that is building my 1st Home rolling.

Just one of those things. "What if...?" The eternal question. It's this sort of situation that is great for filling in boredom. If you don't do something, say something or think something and just stick with the norm, then there is every chance that thats all that will ever happen. It only takes one small choice, to do something slightly different that can set the rest of your life on a course completely unplanned and unpredictable. I do believe that is the great adventure called Life!



P.S. It also goes to show, that maybe being bored isn't such a bad thing. It makes people do things that are out of the norm, gets them thinking of new ideas, writing books (or blogs!) and generally can be a lot more productive than I think people give credit to. As far as I'm concerned, I'm only building a house now instead of 5 or so years into the future because I was bored and filled the time with something other than watching TV!